fear

An Anecdote Full of Fear

During my bus ride home, there were these three people sitting in front of where I was sitting. Then a laugh. And another. I knew right then that it was me they’re laughing at. The only explanation I could muster is that maybe they saw me before, in my anxiety-ridden state, unfortunately.

The entire commute home was hell. I tried to fight. I tried to be calm. But, that feeling that someone’s watching your every move, has already creeped in. I haven’t felt this intense fear in a long time. Old wounds have been opened. I’m back to my insecure, awkward, abnormal self. It was torture.

Now I’m here at the safety of my room. Lights out, I’m replaying the episode in my head. I’m starting to doubt myself again. If I was thinking only of myself, I would’ve lost it by now. For now, I’ll let the medicine sink in while the dark comforts me, until the fear subsides.